Well. Here I am. In the land of blog with not a clue what to do so I shall just write and see what happens. I must admit, I am slightly apprehensive at the prospect of airing my innermost feelings on a website and I find myself questioning who will actually want to read these things about me and my life? I figure if I write a bit about me, perhaps that will be a good start...I moved away from home at 11 to go to ballet school, i had no intention of being a ballerina (no, I was never one of those cute girls who used to long to prance around in a tutu all day), I just went on a chidlish whim lured by the absence of strict academic study and the ongoing sleepover with friends. I grew to love it, situated in the middle of Richmond Park, it wasnt a bad place to experience adolescence. At 16 I was living in a flat in central london with my best friends. It was blissful. School however, wasnt. Th fact that I didnt have a burning desire to be a ballet dancer was heightened by the fact that I was regularly being humiliated or ignored in class for being "untoned" and escorted to the nutritionist for a weigh in week in, week out. It got worse and in the final year of school, my best friend and I decided to take a mini gap year and go "auditioning" around Europe. The thought of being surrounded by these weird people who think eating toilet roll is acceptable and find doing the same ritualistic dance class day in, day out is remotely stimulating was too much to bear but I thought it was merely the school environment. I thought if I got offered a job with a ballet company I would be overjoyed. I wasn't. I turned a job down and went to university. Possibly my only regret in life (because I've always made it a priority not to regret anything) but this, I do. I hate University. So, I now find myself removed from everything I loved, London, my boyfriend, my friends who are scattered all over the world (thank god for skype and easyjet), my pokey flat, it was tiny but I loved it more than anything as it was crammed with memories of wonderful dinner parties, lazy Sundays in bed with my boyfriend, all night chats and BBQs on the roof. I don't miss ballet one bit, I miss the lifestyle. I am now living in Guildford with my parents, ironic how people go to university to move away from home but I am enjoying moving back after 8 years away. In fact, that's exactly the problem. I feel as though I'm on a completely different wavelength to the people at University. I have some lovely friends there but I just fail to get vaguely excited about the vulgar student union club or get a thrill from stealing trolleys from tesco and genuinely cant understand why anyone would relish in downing pint after pint, night after night on nothing but a belly full of Pot Noodle. I am far from tee total but find it all a bit excessive and refuse to join in from the sheer principle that I would never do anything just to fit in so make my feelings quite clear. Shit, I've just realised how much I've rambled on, so much for my apprehension at sharing my thoughts! Ok, well I'm not quite sure how to end my first blog but I hope its not all mindless rambling to read.